Visceral Lit











{August 10, 2007}   To Try Something New

I have always been, as I like to call it, a scientist. Always experimenting, there is very little I haven’t tried, at least once. I’ve said before, half-joking that there is in fact nothing I won’t try four times before I make up my mind about it.

I’m 31 years old, now and while my partnerships don’t number astronomically high (they really don’t even quite hit the stratosphere, I think) I have a fair number of diverse experiences under my belt. So imagine my surprise last week when I discovered something rather mundane that I had never experienced before.

Before last week, I had never had sex in a sleeping bag.

It’s not something I think I’ve ever given much thought to, but the night was cold and my lover and I opted to maneuver both our bodies inside one small, single bag. Skin against skin and breast to breast, our breathing quickly became laboured. Our chests pressed against one another and we giggled a bit as we tried to find a place for the four elbows which had suddenly become vastly inconvenient contrivances.

Before either of us knew it, he was growing hard between
my legs. Pressing upward, warming me from within. Our
limbs intertwined and we rolled, restrained and locked
together. Thrusts were necessarily short and became quick
and deep to compensate. The base of his cock slammed and
pressed against me and we both began to gleam with perspiration
which cooled almost instantly in the night air.

I tried to raise my legs to him, to wrap them around his and open
myself more fully to his urgent thrusts, but they were wrapped
tight, the bag twisted beneath us, enforcing our closeness. I
slid my hands down, over the slippery surface of his back and
grasped at his buttocks, using them as leverage as I forced my
body deeper into the bag, forced his body deeper into myself.

His body began to tremble and my pussy began to throb in answer. He whispered feverishly to me each sensation of his body, as we slid up and down one another’s forms, a layer of thin sweat the only thing which could fit between us.

My skin tingled and burned with the friction, the constant contact raising my pulse and exciting every inch of me. When I came, it was with my whole body and my whole body strained against the flannel and nylon, and against the body of my lover as his back struggled and strained to arch with his own orgasm.

We came together and it seems there was no other way it could have ended. Our bodies so firmly intertwined that every small ripple of muscle pushed and pulled against another. We were as one body, held together there as our breathing slowed. He dropped his head into the crook of my neck and I felt his heart pound against mine, slowing against our rib cages, perfectly in sync.



{July 20, 2007}   Tenderness

There are parts of a man’s body which are more than just skin and bones. More than the warm flesh of which they are composed.

When I press my body, naked against my lover’s skin, my hands seek out these parts more than any other. Fingertips running over the gentle curve of soft lips, eyes hungrily consuming the rise and fall of his body’s landscape.

The expanse of skin between the tops of his shoulder blades, just before the place where his neck takes root in his spine; I caress it with fingernails, lightly dragging them over each small rise and fall of bone. Reach back up with the ends of my fingers and press my palm there. It’s too high to be over his heart, but it feels like a part of his centre anyway, as if I can sense the pull of his lungs, drawing life into him.

I bury my face there; breathing him in; pressing my lips against smooth, tight skin. I am close to the curve between his shoulder and neck and I can follow that curve up to press my lips behind his earlobe, the scent of him purest there.

My hands can wander down to the bulge of his lats, muscles that stand out pleasingly when he lifts or when he presses his body up and down along mine. If he’s been climbing lately, they burst with definition each time he turns his body this way and that. If he hasn’t, they curve softly; gently expanding his chest and then narrowing to his waist.

The dip of his lower back and then the rise of his buttocks. My hand placed just over his tailbone, caressing that shape as I press my body against his. Our skin first feeling each point of contact like tiny electric pinpricks and then as our bodies relax into one another that intense comfort of not knowing where my skin ends and his begins. One warm, soft mass with nothing separating it.

When he stands, there is a faintly chiseled V between his hipbones, drawing the eye down further. If I touch it, tracing the curve of his hips, or the dip of his abdomen, it trembles and spasms. His breath catches in his throat and his penis jumps, if only briefly, to attention.

I cup his jawbone in my hand and caress up his cheekbone, tracing lines over his ears and down his neck. The soft skin just above his collarbone calls to my lips.

His eyes, the windows to his soul, intense and stormy grey in one moment and a sparkling, clear blue the next. Framed by lashes so long he inspires envy in even the most self-assured woman; they too draw my attention. I kiss each lid when they are closed. Admiring him as much as he lies asleep next to me as when he moves across my vision, active and engaged.

The backs of his knees, around to the inner reaches of his thighs where, if I touch with my palms, the backs of my hands brush against soft, receptive skin; A scrotum which leaps at my contact.

He sleeps beside me and I admire the landscape of his form and I want to wake him, to draw his penis out of slumber and to make love to every inch of him, to touch his skin as it heats and dampens with the fever of his pleasure. I also want to hold him, quiet and relaxed and just feel the closeness and the comfort of knowing that he is there, tonight and for many to come.



{June 2, 2007}   and a she makes three

I forgot how much firmer I was when I was young. Touching her now, I was surprised at the taut skin. Her breasts, full and round, rose to meet my hand and I sqeezed, gently testing the resistance. The skin yielded little but the woman’s lips parted, a flash of white teeth showing briefly between lips flushed and swollen with our kisses.

I was entranced by her face, spasms of pleasure distorting her smooth features as our partner’s mouth lightly fluttered over her labia. My hand crept to my own pulsing clit, wet already though it had not yet been touched tonight. I lowered my lips to the nipples which stretched toward me, never taking my eyes off her features.

Her throat expanded to allow a small sound, something between a moan and a cry which escaped her lips and was chased away by the glistening tip of her tongue. I ran the tips of my fingers over those lips, now pulling the lower one down slightly to meet my approaching kiss. My body slid over the sheets, drawing itself against hers to press my wetness against her thigh.

A small sound escaped the lips of the man between her legs and he grasped at his own cock, turning it towards me. Obligingly I slid my body down her leg, a trail of my juices tracing the friction of her smooth, tight skin against my clit. Locking my legs around his, I slid myself across his cock. It had grown huge, standing out as it had never before. It throbbed against me and burnt to the touch.

His lips broke free and he grasped her hips with muscular, sinewy hands to pull her with him as his body turned to accomodate me.

I knelt above him and continued my traverse along his trembling form. Settling my cunt against his ankle, I lightly trailed my hands over his abdomen and up the inside of his thighs. As his legs parted, his ankle drew up between my lips, pulling tightly against me and it was my turn to moan before plunging his cock deeply into my mouth.

She had settled on her knees and braced against the wall and now she ground herself against his furious, frolicking kisses.

His hands clasped over the blankets, gripping them tightly and taking up fistfuls of the bed as his body arched to our ministrations. They let go abruptly to feel up her body to her breasts. Feverish fingers trailed over her lips and then slid rapidly back down to her hole. Gently, slowly he pressed two inside as he turned his tongue to her swollen clit.

She cried out first and he tugged his cock out of my mouth as it twitched, threatening to explode down my throat. Gently he lay her down, lifting her legs as he trailed a taut torso over her breasts and then plunged himself inside her. I lay next to them, watching, spying, observing their bodies intertwined.

I bit my lip and my fingers tensed on my abdomen to see their embrace. The subtle shifts of their muscles as they strained against one another led a near painful warmth through my middle.

His hands on the back of her knees he pressed them back and he fucked her harder, looking deeply at me as my own knees spread to accommodate my venturing fingers. I watched, transfixed as his abdomen tensed with his thrusts. Suddenly there was another hand on my cunt and she murmerred my name as her fingers skillfully found their way between my lips.

A light touch, lighter than I might have touched myself, over each part of my pussy, pressure applied in just the right way and my eyes squeezed shut, my hands stretching over my head in a simulation of being bound. When my eyes opened again it was just in time to see his forarm moving across the back of her knee.

A cry came from my mouth as my eyes shut again. As his dick plunged in and out of her, he thrust two, then three fingers up my own writhing cunt, matching the rythm and pressure inside her. He arched his back and strained deeply into her, shouting as he emptied himself. His body twitched and pulsed with his orgasm and the hand in my cunt translated each wave of his pleasure.

I watched his body tremble and shake and my pussy throbbed for more. Grinding my hips against the hands that eagerly grasped, juices flowed and my orgasm came, through my pussy and through my mouth, wracking my body with each pulse. Spasms of pleasure brought with them smaller orgasms and I came again and again, coaxed and urged by tireless hands, both rough and masculine and tender and smooth.

He collapsed now atop us as our frantic breaths slowed and deepened and a layer of sweat separated our skin. As he eased his exhausted cock out of her, our hands delicately explored one another, taking the time to know the folds and crevices our lust had not yet had the patience to map.

I awoke once in the night, to find his head on my stomach, his arm across the soft curve of her hip and smiled at his peaceful face before drifting back into deep and contented slumber.



{May 13, 2007}   Equal to the love you make

I remember the last time we fucked. By candlelight and incense, we sat in the nude, face to face and cross-legged. Our knees barely touched and I could feel the hair on your legs tickling mine, the warmth of you radiating from behind it.

You’d made a lot of rigamarole about love and I’d been at first, alarmed. As I’d realized it wasn’t about me, wasn’t my love you were entreating, I felt a relief which gradually passed into disappointment. This body was mine tonight, but never after.

I remember trailing my finger lightly down your chest, never breaking contact. I paused for a moment over your heart and then allowed my fingers to cascade over your abdomen. As gradually tensing abdominal muscles tapered, I hesitated again, the tips of my fingers lightly tickled by dark curls.

I flattened my hand and felt the curls gathering between my fingers as my palm pressed against your half-erect member. My fingers curled underneath your scrotum, gathering your balls into my hand and I lightly brushed them against the base of your rapidly stiffening cock.

Your hands were on me, too, slipping back and forth between my clit and my opening, extracting soft, deep breaths which arched my breast towards you. It was as though my chest was being tugged by yours, areolae hardening, reaching out for contact with you.

I leaned forward and lightly touched my lips to your collarbone, my tongue flickering along it to your earlobe before trailing down your firm chest to envelop a small, rigid nipple. You called for the divine as I pressed your cock towards me, slowly massaging with my hand as I trailed my torso across your skin.

Your hands, no longer able to reach my engorgement, tensed and gripped my thighs, pulling me closer and then moving to the yielding flesh which rose and fell against your cock. I shifted to your other nipple and drew my body to envelop it between my breasts. Obligingly, you pushed them together and pressed through.

My tongue flickered from my mouth, a quick, firm touch to the underside of your head, pressing briefly to the tip and following it with a soft kiss. Your sudden exhalation swept across my back, tickling the bare flesh and raising a scattering of goose bumps.

I slid backwards on the blankets we had placed down, to arch my neck and take your penis into my mouth. Your hands fell to the floor behind you as your hips pressed ever so slightly upward. I remember pressing you in, deeply and extending my tongue to meet your scrotum, lifting your balls to brush them against the stud in my tongue.

You rose and I fell, a well oiled machine, with the practice of lovers experienced in the motions of each other’s bodies, the intimacy and enthusiasm of a half dozen fucks culminating into the ecstasy of this moment. You straddled me and I lifted my head, drawing your cock back towards my face for more.

I fucked you with my lips and tongue and hands, the back of my throat flexing and relaxing as your hips moved you through my mouth. You were harder than I’d ever seen you and my cunt burned for your entrance.

Grasping your hips I pushed you down my body, my heart beating wildly and my breath coming in short, building gasps. I dragged my clit back and forth over your dick, which stiffened and grew even more before plunging inside me, my pelvic bone pressing my clit into the vee at your base.

I grew and throbbed against the dark hairs, now plastered flat by the juices which slid you in and out of me so smoothly. A high pitched cry, matched by a tenor of a groan accompanied our orgasms, bodies trembling and shaking.

You collapsed on top of me, sweat dripping through my hair, my hands stroking your back, your ass, your thighs as I trembled with depletion.

We lay there a long time like that, faces buried in one another’s necks, hands tender and thankful. Lips gently caressing now and then. Your penis softened gradually between my legs and eventually slipped out of me, brushing against a still sensitive clit and I gasped one last time.



{May 7, 2007}   October 26th 1991.
The ache of losing the last boyfriend was still heavy in my chest. The air that year had stayed hot. It had been an exceptionally warm summer and was turning into an unseasonable autumn.

I sat on a picnic table, a light denim jacket wrapped around my shoulders as twilight settled over me. It was the first time I’d been back here since early June. This party wasn’t as wild. There were more teenagers and fewer adults, true, but the heavy sense of impending winter was prevalent.

It was clear we were bidding goodbye to summer, rather than engaging in the Dionysian excess of welcoming it.

Old habits die hard, especially in me, and I was staring, unnoticed, at his profile. His hair had grown longer over the summer. It still curled tantalizingly at the back of his neck though, thick strawberry coloured rings hidden to all but the most intimate observer under the length of blonde on top. I longed to run my fingers through that hair, feel it softly brush against the back of my hand, curl around my fingers. I longed to stand close to him and breathe him in, to touch him confidently and be touched back.

His blue eyes flashed over in my direction and he saw me and grinned. He never smiled; he grinned and like Alice watching the cheshire cat, all I could see was his mouth; a flash of red and white. He half strode and half ran to the sun porch to change the music. A moment of silence and the first few bars of The Beatles’ white album ring out over the field.

I hadn’t listened to the white album since the last time I’d been with the one who had so recently broken my heart. A deep empty melancholy settled over me. Hot on the heels of the melancholy were some new feelings. Resentment, Vengeance and a healthy helping of Unfinished Business raised their heads and led me to the porch. I took a seat across from him. We looked at each other, uncomfortably sizing up the other’s positions for a while. Apropos of everything and of nothing the track changed and the pedestrian rhythm of Why Don’t We Do It In The Road began.

“I like this song” (“At least”, went my subtext, “I like where it could lead us.”) He turned his head to one side and gave me a penetrating stare. That stare that attempted to see right into me. It never seemed to get right to my core, that stare, but I loved that he tried. It made me feel interesting.

I shrugged when he commented that it wasn’t usually a favourite. “The first time I played this one for my ex-boyfriend, (“I’ve moved on from you, you know, and on and on and on” The subtext screamed “but I’m single right now”) “He was properly shocked. It was amusing, given the circumstances” (a look meant to convey that the circumstances should have precluded shock about a Beatles song).

He considered me for some time and I tried to play it cool, all the while a heat rising slowly up my neck. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. When I looked at him again he was still staring at me with those piercing blue eyes. He had leaned forward in his chair. “Where are you sleeping tonight?” He enquired finally.

My heart skipped a beat and I was glad I was sitting down or else I think my knees would have buckled and my legs would have melted out from under me. A sharp stab of something darted at supersonic speeds up my centre, leaving in its wake a tapering heat. I went for casual, but my face was burning and my speech betrayed me. “I d-d-dunno” I shrugged “I figured probably in Sally’s room”. He nodded. “Well, I’m heading up to the attic now. You’re welcome to crash up there if you like.”

He got up and stood in front of me, staring expectantly. I rose on shaking knees and followed him mutely up the three flights of stairs to the room he shared with his cousin. I was shocked and titillated to find that he had gone through with his plan to mount a mirror on the ceiling and a line from an Eagles song flitted through my head, reminding me of our first date, when he’d bought the album on vinyl from a garage sale we’d walked past. Sleeping bodies were strewn all around the half of the room that he and Spaulding had set up with wall to wall matresses and cushions. He tossed me an old t shirt of his. Offering it to me to sleep in. I turned my back shyly and slipped into it. When I turned back he was looking at me quizzically. I blushed to the tips of my ears.

We got into bed and I curled up next to him, my forehead resting against his shoulder. He put his hand on my waist, his fingers lightly brushing the small of my back and I swallowed hard to chase away the shivers. Slowly and tentatively my hand crept across his chest. I looked up at him and he was looking down at me. Our lips met softly.

His hand worked its way slowly up inside the top I had just put on and rested alongside my breast. “Your heart is beating so fast” he commented. I shrugged again, I seemed to do that a lot with him, he left me at a loss for words.

Slowly and gently we explored one another with our fingers. I was in heaven. Breathing him in, my hands pressing against his chest, his back and up the back of his neck to those secret curls, hidden under layers of straight blonde hair. The door to the room opened and light flooded in. Tim shielded his eyes.

Standing in the doorway was a boy who had been introduced to me as Frank. He was stumbling drunk and he was looking for Spaulding. Tim advised him that Spaulding was sleeping and Frank blinked into the darkness. He squinted in my direction. “Do you have a chick up here?” Tim clarified that Frank was not welcome at the moment and Frank swayed in the doorway a few minutes. “Hey, is that a mirror on the ceiling?” he blurted out finally. I hid my face in Tim’s chest. I was beginning to giggle, but it was clear that Tim was not amused. Frank stumbled over to the bed and fell onto it, reaching out and blindly groping me with his free hand.

Tim’s hackles went up. It surprised me, the forceful possessiveness he suddenly adopted. “Don’t touch her Frank. Go home” But Frank didn’t heed. As Tim got more riled up, I became more interested in this side of him that he’d never shown to me before. “It’s ok” I found myself saying “he’s drunk, just let him pass out and be done with it.” We found a spot closer to the wall and resumed our activities. When Frank’s hand made another appearance, this time on my ass, there was nowhere left to go. At Tim’s insistence, we switched spots, and Tim so firmly fended off Frank’s next attempt to get in on the action that Frank stumbled out of the room.

Our bodies relaxed into one another. I was thrilled to find that I fit so comfortably up against him. Our torsos seemed perfectly matched so that as he grew his penis pressed up against me pleasingly. I was absorbed in kissing those lips. They were so soft and so red. I had gone to sleep so many nights dreaming of them and I never wanted to stop kissing them now. He rolled me over onto my back and climbed on top of me. He looked down at me, his long bangs tickling my forehead. “Are you ok?” he asked. I nodded, not trusting my voice not to betray me. He pressed his legs against the outside of my thighs and leaned his head down to kiss me again when I was struck in the face by a beam of light. I covered my face as Tim leapt off me and turned, visibly annoyed, to face the door.

Sally stood there. “Pria?” she asked. I peered through my fingers at her sillouette. “uhhuh?” I asked. “Um, I’m gonna go to bed soon, I just wondered…” her voice trailed off. “It’s ok Sal, I think I’ll sleep in here tonight” Sally looked at me uncertainly. She was far smarter than her 13 years would suggest but it was clear that she was unfamiliar with the situation. “Is everything ok?” she asked. “It’s fine Sally, it’s great in fact. I’ll see you in the morning ok?” She stood there a moment longer until Tim threw a pillow at her. “Get out Sally!” he demanded and she turned and scurried away. Tim rose and closed the door and came back to the bed.

He lay on his side next to me and after a few minutes of kissing he slid his hand under the waistband of my underpants. I gasped audibly as his fingers entered me and urgently pressed my body up against his. With his free hand he led one of mine down towards the waistband of his own pants, leaving my fingers hooked just under it. I reached down and took him into my hand when the door swung open again. Both my hands flew to my face now as Tim sat bolt upright. I made a noise of frustration. Tim’s sister’s voice floated through the darkness at me.

“Tim, Sally told me to tell you that she doesn’t need this from you right now”. I let out an exasperated sigh and raised my head to scowl at Sharon. “Who doesn’t need what from me exactly?” “I don’t know,” she looked at me uncertainly “Pria doesn’t need you raping her right now or something”. My head flopped back onto the pillow. “Shar, tell Sally I’m fine.” Sharon stood there, uncertainly a few more moments. I could feel Tim’s body, tense against my legs. I longed to hold him again, I longed to kiss him again but mostly I longed for a lock on that goddamned door.

Sharon’s fears finally assuaged, she left, once again leaving the door conspicuously open. Tim got up and shut it, then leapt on top of me. Our kisses were more fervent this time, our hands trying to make up for lost time, trying to get everything in before the next distraction. He slipped first one leg, then the other between mine and effortlessly pushed them apart. I could feel his penis pressing hard against me through my underpants. The door swung open again. Tim lay down on top of me and I buried my face in his neck. “What the fuck is it NOW?” Tim demanded.

His father’s voice rang through the room. “Boys, who’s up here?”. Tim answered. “Well, Spaulding and Karla are sleeping over there. I think there’s a few people asleep on the rug over there and me and umm…Pria, I think.” The door swung open a little wider, letting in more light. “I want the girls out of there now” Tim protested. “Now, Tim!” answered his father as he turned and strode to the stairs. Spaulding’s voice rose from the bed a few feet away from us. “I’m not waking my friends up to tell them they have to leave” he muttered petulantly, not nearly loud enough for his uncle to hear. Tim kissed my nose. “I’ll be right back” he promised.

I lay for a long time waiting for him. He came back and began to get dressed. “What are you doing?” I asked. “I’m going to my mom’s” he muttered. He put on some jeans, did a double take and took them off again. He had put on my jeans. He grabbed his motorcycle helmet, threw on his leather jacket and walked out. I slept fitfully that night and avoided his father the next day, grabbing a ride from a friend of a friend as far as the bus station to go home.

He called me the next day to apologize. He was at his mother’s place, but it was packed to the rafters with bikers at present or he’d invite me by. We’d see each other soon though. We would always see each other soon.



{May 7, 2007}   Andrew – 2004

The conversation faltered. They glanced shyly at one another, each trying simultaneously to catch the others’ eyes and yet to avoid prolonged eye contact. The minutes stretched out until the tension in the room was palpable. A haze of mind-altering hormones caused blood to rush from the centre into her cheeks and puzzlingly, her ears. A few aborted advances were made, leaning towards one another and then pulling back as though scalded by proximity. It was now or never.

The kiss was frantic. Heart thumping wildly and mind reeling she pressed her lips against his and then pulled back. He smiled and she tried to smile back. He reached out a hand and cupped her cheek and she leaned forward again. He kissed her softly and her hand, shaking and unbidden, reached up. She ran her fingers through his hair. It was soft and clean, her hand slid easily through it. She extended her tongue gently beyond her lips and with it studied the curve of his upper lip before allowing the tip of her nose to slide down his, their foreheads resting against one another and enveloping his lower lip in her own.

A deep intake of breath. Hands flying,
each trying desperately to keep up with their frenzied libido. The
kiss was more than that now, it was a gasping, sucking entity;
warm and moist. The lips parted and explored other regions of
the face. Fumbling fingers found their way around a variety of
catches. Clothes forgotten, they changed postion. The kiss became
deeper, the breathing more frenzied. There was no stopping it.

Control was surrendered to the deeper senses.

Her heart was pounding and her face flushed. There was
no time to wrap her head around the newness. The feel
of this body, the curve of this cheek, the smell of this
male.

Every one of her senses was stretched to capacity,
her mind flickering over each one briefly like an indecisive
hummingbird drinking in a field of flowers.

Lights flashed behind her eyes as his lips charted new
territory.

She pulled his face back to hers and locked her lips against his, desperately trying to focus on one thing. She was painfully aware of him pressing against her and her hips strained urgently toward his. A new, unbearable, emptiness was clamouring for her attention. She bit her lip, trying to regain control over her body, struggling for composure. Filling her lungs to bursting she enthusiastically called the battle.

He was strong, dominant, sexy. Her head reeled with new sensations until she wondered if she would even remain conscious. The kisses slowed, the hands became more gentle and their bodies relaxed into one another. Breathing hard they smiled, still with an unfathomable shyness, at one another. She brushed a sweaty lock of hair from his forehead and eased herself out from under him, not willing to let go.

It was late. She held his head in her lap as he drifted off to sleep. She sat contemplatively there for hours. Meditating on her newest experience, reliving it as she looked at his peaceful face. It was a good night to be alive.



et cetera