Visceral Lit











{June 21, 2007}   Indiscretion

Did I bring it up?
It’s my fantasy so I must have. I can’t imagine the opposite scenario and yet can’t quite remember where it came from. Deep in the recesses of my depraved brain, no doubt. I remember the conversation leading in. Did I really plan that far back? I don’t think so. Perhaps though, my brain is way ahead of me when it comes to fantasy fulfillment. I sometimes think it seems as though it’s all too easy for me to get what I want in bed.

Still, I was nervous. I got up and threw on the shirt offered me before I even thought. As I wandered out to the living room, my brain began to scream at me, demand an explaination for my behaviour, demand a validation, concrete evidence that I wasn’t about to make a complete ass of myself.

I circled through the kitchen, ostensibly to pour myself a noisy glass of water and then back to the bedroom, wide-eyed. What was I thinking?

I couldn’t settle though and out I went again and again, each time increasing the volume designed to stir my target from slumber.

Oddly, it’s not as if this target was someone who had ever occurred to me in this light before. Reasonably attractive, easy going and with just enough in common to hold a conversation with, the idea of my mouth on his cock certainly seemed far from the realm of the probable a mere few hours earlier.

With an attitude akin to that of a kamikaze pilot, I finalized my approach, climbing in next to him, lightly running a hand down the side of his prone form.

He’s slender, bony, but as I reach his tightly clad ass, I find it muscular and round. I shy away from allowing my touch to progress further, not wanting to violate, not wanting to cross the bounds of consent. I fear I may already have, despite my intention to rouse.

I wait a few moments, barely breathing, willing him to wake so I can blurt out my proposition, so I can see this decision closed, one way or the other.

I attempt a few more tentative touches, light brushes of the curve between his ribcage and hip, my hand circling around and up his back, deciding that touching his rear end, despite it’s appealing firmness is outside of the bounds of appropriateness.

It’s been a long time since I’ve touched a man this thin, the curve of whose hip bone extrudes like a handle. I want to grab it, push my palm against the top of his cheek and use it to pull myself towards him, to stretch my neck and lightly brush his with my lips, to nibble his inviting collarbone.

I can hear movement in the other room and I am aware of the time passing. In agonized frustration I roll over onto my back. Perhaps if I just wait long enough, he will arouse on his own. Sure, I would expect some confusion, but I’d deal with that when I came to it. My heart is pounding and my nerves frayed. I am ready to get up and bolt, I can picture myself giggling with frazzled nerves at my own gall and my own cowardice, when he rolls over, his arm brushing mine.

I turn slightly towards him, holding my breath. All of a sudden I am terrified he will awaken. Feeling the fool I am. Unbidden, my hand brushes his sinewy forearm and his eyes open. Bleary, he gazes at me. “Hi!” I say brightly, the first greeting that enters my mind leaving my lips as quickly as it occurs to me. His eyes clear and he looks back, a knowing grin spreading across his features. “Hi!” he replies.

His expression turns to questioning and I reach out and brush a hand against his chest, circling around waist and travelling down for that much-anticipated second stroke of his rear end. This time I squeeze it, pull him towards me. “He knows I’m out here.” I murmur and he responds “I assume so” His lips meet mine and I’m surprised that this I do not have to initiate.

His kiss is soft, softer than most I’ve encountered, but not sloppy as the looser embrochures my experiences have tended towards. I draw away, my heart now pouding, breath shallow in my lungs. I can feel already the pressure behind his jeans, pressing against my thigh. I’m stunned and titillated by the speed of his arousal. “I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes, am I?” I ask, breathlessly. He smiles, pulling me confidently toward him, I am also surprised with the stride he takes this in, as if it is a common occurance in his life to wake next to a mostly disrobed woman. “Don’t worry about it” he replies. I think he adds that it’s ok, but I can’t be sure because I’m swept away by the rapid engorgement of my own sex.

Soon my lips are locked against his, the loose man’s shirt that has hung to just below my hips riding up with each motion of our pelvises. I sense the entry of my partner and my heart skips a beat and my breath catches as I wait for the outcome of this addition, this next step. Again, his stride is not broken. I reach my hand down the front of his pants, sliding across his trembling stomach and past the cool chrome and stiff leather of his belt.

As I massage the already calescent hard-on, flicking my wrist to free it from his waistband I lay my head on his shoulder and whisper into his ear. “Is this ok?”

He raises his hips towards my palm and looks me straight in the eyes. “I don’t hear me complaining” he responds. I reach my other hand around and grasp his belt buckle. “As long as you’ll let me know,” I say, sliding my fingertips between the layers of leather. From the corner of my eye I can see my partner beginning to stroke his growing cock. My fingers pry harder at the stiff band and I raise my head, to focus my eyes on the contrivance there. It is not the standard pronged, end bar enclosure and I manipulate my hand to the next type in my experience vaults.

It’s not one of those either.

Shit.

Perhaps it’s the sort with a toothy slider, the sort most usually seen on canvas belts. I squint and adjust the angle of my head, all dreams of a smooth seduction seeming ridiculous as my fingers fumble with increasing frustration. Fortunately, the belt’s wearer steps in, freeing me from the torment of the inept.

His cock is so hard that the skin is stretched completely smooth. He slides his pants off his hips and I straddle his thighs, pinning his legs to the bed and using my tongue to add lubrication. Following the path with my hand.

Reaching up under his balls and stroking his shaft with my free hand, I begin to work on the tip, flicking it playfully with my tongue and then wrapping my lips around it to tease the ridge with the stud in my tongue.

My partner rises and crosses around to my rear, grasping my back just above the tailbone and massaging his cock between the folds of my pussy. I gasp, a soft moan escaping as I tilt my hips toward his, a slight shimmy in them to press him deeper between my thighs. I whimper as he enters me and plunge my head down further over the dick in my mouth, wanting both ends as full as I can muster, matching the rythm of my gasping fellatio to that of my trembling hips.

My mouth fills, but the cock in it throbs for more, not faltering in its state of arousal, I lick it clean, shifting my weight for a change of position.

I am carried away by sensation, by hands on my breasts, my ass, my hips, my head. I am presented with two dicks, trembling before my face and I squeal with glee, encasing the saliva drenched one in a condom and begining slow licks of the other. Soon the positions are switched and I massage tight balls as an unfamiliar length enters me. Unfamiliar hands grasp my hips, unnecessarily gentle, as new partners tend to be.

I’m carried away again in a flurry of sound and touch, of moans and slurps and grunts of pleasure. My body quakes and I let out a high-pitched shudder as orgasm washes over me. I use one hand to press the knob between my pussy lips against the base of the cock inside me, to draw out orgasm after orgasm. My mouth is filled again and again the twitching cock does not give out.

Hours have passed and I lie on my back now, a thin sheen of sweat glistening on my skin. Exhaustion is setting in but my enthusiasm has not waned. I grip a shaft in each hand and feel a dribble across the back of one, as hips are pushed towards me. My partners too are tired. Were the year a bit older the sun would be creeping up over the buildings outside.

It seems a cigarette is in order.



{June 5, 2007}   Pria’s new toy

Perhaps I’m outing myself as a strange beast, or perhaps I’m voicing words that have been thought by millions of women before me, but I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a cock.

I don’t think I’d want one for good. I love my pussy, she’s soft and beautiful and very, very good to me when I treat her right. All the same, I do wonder what it’s like to have this excitable extension of my sex right out there where I could grab it, squeeze it, coax it into life and bring from it the kind of pleasure that the other half experiences as a matter of course.

Minutes ago, I strapped on a cock and gave it a test drive.

I requested from Eden Fantasys a strap on that included a vaginal attatchment. After all, my rubber cock wouldn’t have nerve endings of its own and so stimulating it had better stimulate the nerve endings I did have.

I had company last night, and alas, not the sort who would be amenable to helping me to explore my new toy. It took all my patience to wait for the moment when I could first insert the plug and get to business with my very own dick.

I changed position many times before finding the one that worked. One hand between my legs, rhythmically pressing the plug into my swiftly moistening cunt, I lubed the other one up and stroked the shaft. I had to be quite vigorous with my cock, it was the only way I could get it to respond, to get the base to press and release against my lips.

I reached under the harness and spread my lips wide, my clit aching for a share of the pressure and adjusted my strokes to include a grind on the downstroke. Soon I had worked myself into a lather, beads of sweat appearing on my face and breasts as I watched my hand move rapidly up and down in rythm with my building pleasure.

I rarely make a noise when I service myself, but this time I cried out as I came, the psychology of a fantasy attempted carrying me where a typical wank never could.

I am still without batteries for the vibrator function, but rest assured that when I get the opportunity to give it another spin, you will be first to know about it.

XxX,
Pria



{May 29, 2007}   Sex and Loathing

Remember when you were more easily led,
Behind the cricket pavillion and the bicycle shed?
Trembling as your dreams came true,
You looked right into those blue eyes and knew.

Pet Shop Boys – Can You Forgive Her, 1993

He wasn’t particularly handsome. His face seemed stretched somehow sideways, his mouth too wide and his eyes a little further apart than average. He was unevenly freckled and the adolescent acne of his past had left a few marks here and there.

He wasn’t particularly handsome, but his lean wiry body was just the sort which attracted me, had done since I was very young.

He wasn’t particularly handsome, but he was clever and gave good conversation.

He wasn’t particularly nice to me, but then, I wasn’t particularly nice to him either. It’s safe to say we didn’t really like one another very much. In a group we could just barely manage a passable civility and alone we called one another names, spitting hateful epithets with true vehemence. We had gotten off on such the wrong foot with one another, it seemed we would never resolve it. Both dominant personalities, both straining against one another, rebelling against our perceptions of the other’s attempts to dominate.

We were at a party together, just barely legal to watch the R rated movies on the screen, not quite legal to drink the beers in our hands. Young, anyway. Teenagers. There was to be a beer run, we’d run out. Gianni was going and he was going with. Gianni had the car, Jeff had the fake i.d. I passed off a fiver to him, enough at the time for a good share of a case of Molson’s Canadian. He sneered and asked what was in it for him.

I shrugged. What did I have to offer, really? A skinny little punk with a chip on her shoulder, a grade behind him in high school, no particular position of advantage. He’d been complaining of a wrenched shoulder, the result of the day’s sporting competition, so I offered him a massage. I was known to be good at it and I figured a few minutes of muscle rubbing was worth four or five beers. He agreed.

When they returned, I took up a position, obediently behind him, crosslegged on the floor. As I rubbed his back, we chatted. Pheromones filled the air.

Anyone who ever was an adolescent knows exactly that moment when both of you decide to go for broke. When the control is surrendered.

I slowly sipped my first beer of the evening as he drank deeply of his third and then fourth. First his left then his right hand found its way to my knees, my thighs.

At first they just rested there, aiming for casual, though the position musn’t have been very comfortable at all.

I remember that he was left handed and it was that hand that first made its way to the top of my damp tights, one finger lightly stroking there a few times before it travelled back down my thigh. My own hands stroked his shoulders less and his chest more, marvelling at the definition of his pecs, despite their slender placement.

The next time his hand travelled up my leg, it slipped under my tights. I repaid the favour of his stroking, slipping my hand down his tight stomach and over the bulge in his jeans. I could only feel the tip of his cock, straining against the zipper. I considered freeing it, allowing it to burst forth from the denim, but a glance around the full room dissuaded me.

I made eye contact with a girl I barely knew and she winked at me knowingly. Suddenly horrified by my own forward and public groping, my hand quickly retreated back up to his shoulders. He was not so easily dissuaded, thankfully and he slipped his finger around my soaked underpants and plunged it deeply inside me.

Hungrily my pussy enveloped him and I felt his chest rise and fall rapidly a few times before he leaned back to slide another finger effortlessly inside. I was young and still quite tight, but my juices easily made up for it, dripping down his palm as he rapidly slid his hand up and down and craned his neck back to rest his head on my shoulder.

His lips brushed momentarily against the upward curve of my jaw, just under my ear before he murmurred a command. “Go lie down under the blanket on the futon.” He withdrew his hand abruptly and stood up, leaving the room.

My legs trembled and my pussy burned with the hot blood which swelled my clit and spread my lips aside. Shaking, I climbed onto the futon and wiggled down under the thin blanket. I waited, barely breathing, wondering if he was going to come back, wondering what he was doing, desperately trying to keep my hands off my clamouring cunt.

After a few minutes, he came back and sat down on the edge of the futon. Leaning back on one hand, his back to me, he reached back and resumed his rubbing. Blood rushed to my face. He ignored me completely except for his one busy hand, tucked under a blanket, stroking, pinching, penetrating. As my breath came in shallow gasps he casually held up his end of a group commentary on the film on the screen. I still remember that it was a brutal film, set in a Southern military academy. Some people associate Dixie with racism or slavery. I associate it with the titillation of being coaxed to orgasm by an indifferent adversary.

I tried to keep silent, to pretend to be simply sleeping behind him, but as my peak hit, my jagged breaths took on a high, quiet pitch. I bit my lip until blood sprung into my mouth. I held my breath and I came hard, for the first time daring to show my pleasure by pressing toward his hand.

When the spasms finally subsided he lay next to me for the first time. Bringing his face close he issued another command. “Meet me in the second floor bathroom in ten minutes” and again he was up and gone.

I used the next ten minutes to gather my senses about me and then crept like a thief down the stairs. I stood outside the bathroom door for several minutes, nervous and unsure before finally turning the handle. I found him behind the door, stripped naked, his hard-on bright red and pointing straight at me.

For all the under-the-covers fumbling I’d engaged in as a horny young teenager, this was the first time I’d found myself faced with stark nudity. With a penis standing at attention, with balls drawn up in anticipation. He pulled me towards him and undressed me, fondling my breasts, my ass. He drew my hand towards his cock and I took it into my palm, wrapping my fingers around it and tugging it toward me.

I held it firmly and massaged, I withdrew and tickled it with my fingertips, running them lightly up and down the shaft and over the tip. A dribble of precum escaped and spread between my fingers. My right hand took over the manual ministrations as I lifted the left to my lips, to lick the fingers clean.

He moaned and his knees buckled as my tongue ran down one finger and up the next. He seized a towel rack and thrust his cock towards me, burying it for a moment between my legs before drawing it back, slippery and sticky with our combined fluids.

My hands teased him for an hour, drawing him to orgasm and then retreating, leaving him with shaking legs and a cock more and more swollen. Finally he was pleading with me to let him sit, to finish him as he sat, because his legs couldn’t hold him any longer.

I pulled down the toilet seat and directed his body down, straddling him. Licking dry lips he asked if I had a condom and I had to admit that I didn’t. He tilted his head back and pressed his face against the cool tile wall, suffering to draw his cock up and down my labia instead of plunging it deeply inside me, where it clearly longed to be.

I cupped my hands over the top and let him grind against the soft, slippery skin between my legs, occasionally reaching down inside me to draw more lubrication between us. His dick throbbed with every beat of his heart, the skin stretched tightly over the swelling head.

I slid off his lap and knelt on the bath mat, both hands rubbing him trying match the ferocity of his thrusts. He cried out when I finished him there on my knees, his shout retreating into a long, low moan as I devoured the semen which dripped down his cock, between his legs.

We went our separate ways, never speaking, for good or ill, again.



{May 14, 2007}   Introductions

I refer to myself in the first person, but I do not provide any but the most intimate of details about my life. In return, I know little about you, my readers. Yesterday, I posted my eighth post on this blog. Readership is climbing and I thank you all for reading and I hope you are enjoying my stories.

A little about me: I’m older than most people think, to look at me. I was married once, when I was very young but that’s been over for a while now. I am bisexual with a preference for men. I love women’s bodies and I love the intimacy with which a woman can touch me and I can touch her, but as I once exclaimed to a friend: “I just love cock!”

My experiences have ranged from very vanilla to quite kinky and I’ve seen lovers pale when I’ve described some of the more filthy things I’ve experimented with. I’m also a sucker for love and tenderness, the way I can touch and be touched when there’s more there than just carnality. Not to bash carnality, of course. There’s a lot to be said for a good hard (safe) fuck in its proper place and time.

I am safe and sane and you can assume that if I’ve neglected to mention the prophylactics or the discussions of safety and health, it’s for the flow of the story and not because there weren’t any. Please be safe in your sex too. Sex is too wonderful to allow for the more punitive consequences of not going into it with open eyes.

I write erotica because I enjoy it. I love the use of language to spin tales that will take your breath away and bring a flush to your cheeks. I write erotica because I enjoy sex and because I enjoy remembering those moments with others, where my skin tingled and my mind reeled. I write erotica because I’m a bit of an exhibitionist and a voyeur. I write erotica because I like to think of my readers and what acts I might be able to inspire. I write erotica because it gets me off.

I write other things too, of course because as sexcentric as I tend to be, if I spend my life in a constant state of arousal, I lose my keys and forget to eat.

My introduction to human sexuality came when I was ten. I was an exceptionally mature and responsible child and a precocious reader. The two aspects put together were what led to my raiding of my mother’s bookshelf while being left alone at home after school.

By twelve years old I had read 3 of the Hite Reports on human sexuality, one abridged Kinsey report, The Joy of Sex, Extended Sexual Orgasm and a host of lightly erotic novels which would now be classified as “Chick Lit”. I’d also read darker portrayals of sexuality, such as those in The Catcher in the Rye and Death of a Salesman.

My fascination with human sexuality was only heightened by the onset of puberty and I wrote my first piece of purely erotic literature at 15. In it, thinly disguised versions of my male friends and I interspersed our typical adolescent behaviours with a variety of sexual games. Monogamy was not a feature in this fantasy, as it rarely has been in my life.

All of the erotica I have posted thus far is based on real experiences unless otherwise noted. Most of the partners who have been immortalized here have read the work. If they’ve recognized themselves, they haven’t mentioned it to me.

I’d like to encourage comments and discussion of my posts, but I also enjoy where your silence takes my imagination.

I hope you have enjoyed reading so far, and I hope you enjoy reading further half as much as I do enjoy writing here. Feel free to introduce yourselves, or your avatars and happy reading!



{May 7, 2007}   She kissed me!

Today had me thinking about the first girl who kissed me.

She was a tiny little fireball of drunken gothic energy. We had no other connections than that we hung out in some of the same places. I didn’t know her last name or where she went to school. I never saw her without her best girlfriend on one side and her boyfriend on the other. I didn’t even have her phone number.

Her hair, (black of course) lay flat where mine did not, sleek and shiny. Her features were delicate and her smile delightfully impish. I had never felt an attraction to a girl before. A year younger than me, she came off as everything I wished I had the guts to be, adorable, outgoing and unabashedly sexual.

We chatted twice weekly and soon greeted one another with hugs.
Hugs moved on to playful, closed mouth kisses. After the first of these
I felt bigger, more special and just generally pleased with myself. Things
were not good at home. At school and in my extracurricular activities I
was a freak and stood out like a sore thumb, but I could put on black
velvet and big boots, paint my nails and lips black and head out to the
spots I knew and know that there were people, like her, who squealed
and returned my hugs and…kissed me!

I was drawn to her like a moth to a candle. She lost none of her glamour
even as she staggered too drunkenly into the street, needing to be pulled
out just in time to throw up in the gutter. I felt a thrill of excitement when
I ran into her at a party of a friend I didn’t know we had in common.

Late one night she staggered down the street towards me, grabbed me and
pushed her tongue between my lips and into my mouth. My head filled with
helium. Her lips were softer than the ones attatched to the boys I’d kissed
(it’s a cliche I know, but it’s true) her kiss more empathic. I could scarcely
breathe as I processed what was happening before returning it as well as I
could.

She giggled as her boyfriend irritably dragged her off me and down the street. I was left standing in front of the theatre, fingers on my lips, desperately trying to process my tumultuous thoughts.

I doubt she even remembers it, but it completely changed my perception of the world. We lost contact not terribly long afterwards. I started dating Dell and faded from the scene in a whirlwind of new relationship energy. Every now and again these days I catch a glimpse of her life and I remember the crush I harboured on her so many years ago.

We’re both such different people now and it’s such a strange thought to think that in that place and time my world was so affected by hers where now they barely overlap.

I just remember turning to Lois and uttering the awe-struck words: “She *kissed* me!”



{May 7, 2007}   October 26th 1991.
The ache of losing the last boyfriend was still heavy in my chest. The air that year had stayed hot. It had been an exceptionally warm summer and was turning into an unseasonable autumn.

I sat on a picnic table, a light denim jacket wrapped around my shoulders as twilight settled over me. It was the first time I’d been back here since early June. This party wasn’t as wild. There were more teenagers and fewer adults, true, but the heavy sense of impending winter was prevalent.

It was clear we were bidding goodbye to summer, rather than engaging in the Dionysian excess of welcoming it.

Old habits die hard, especially in me, and I was staring, unnoticed, at his profile. His hair had grown longer over the summer. It still curled tantalizingly at the back of his neck though, thick strawberry coloured rings hidden to all but the most intimate observer under the length of blonde on top. I longed to run my fingers through that hair, feel it softly brush against the back of my hand, curl around my fingers. I longed to stand close to him and breathe him in, to touch him confidently and be touched back.

His blue eyes flashed over in my direction and he saw me and grinned. He never smiled; he grinned and like Alice watching the cheshire cat, all I could see was his mouth; a flash of red and white. He half strode and half ran to the sun porch to change the music. A moment of silence and the first few bars of The Beatles’ white album ring out over the field.

I hadn’t listened to the white album since the last time I’d been with the one who had so recently broken my heart. A deep empty melancholy settled over me. Hot on the heels of the melancholy were some new feelings. Resentment, Vengeance and a healthy helping of Unfinished Business raised their heads and led me to the porch. I took a seat across from him. We looked at each other, uncomfortably sizing up the other’s positions for a while. Apropos of everything and of nothing the track changed and the pedestrian rhythm of Why Don’t We Do It In The Road began.

“I like this song” (“At least”, went my subtext, “I like where it could lead us.”) He turned his head to one side and gave me a penetrating stare. That stare that attempted to see right into me. It never seemed to get right to my core, that stare, but I loved that he tried. It made me feel interesting.

I shrugged when he commented that it wasn’t usually a favourite. “The first time I played this one for my ex-boyfriend, (“I’ve moved on from you, you know, and on and on and on” The subtext screamed “but I’m single right now”) “He was properly shocked. It was amusing, given the circumstances” (a look meant to convey that the circumstances should have precluded shock about a Beatles song).

He considered me for some time and I tried to play it cool, all the while a heat rising slowly up my neck. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. When I looked at him again he was still staring at me with those piercing blue eyes. He had leaned forward in his chair. “Where are you sleeping tonight?” He enquired finally.

My heart skipped a beat and I was glad I was sitting down or else I think my knees would have buckled and my legs would have melted out from under me. A sharp stab of something darted at supersonic speeds up my centre, leaving in its wake a tapering heat. I went for casual, but my face was burning and my speech betrayed me. “I d-d-dunno” I shrugged “I figured probably in Sally’s room”. He nodded. “Well, I’m heading up to the attic now. You’re welcome to crash up there if you like.”

He got up and stood in front of me, staring expectantly. I rose on shaking knees and followed him mutely up the three flights of stairs to the room he shared with his cousin. I was shocked and titillated to find that he had gone through with his plan to mount a mirror on the ceiling and a line from an Eagles song flitted through my head, reminding me of our first date, when he’d bought the album on vinyl from a garage sale we’d walked past. Sleeping bodies were strewn all around the half of the room that he and Spaulding had set up with wall to wall matresses and cushions. He tossed me an old t shirt of his. Offering it to me to sleep in. I turned my back shyly and slipped into it. When I turned back he was looking at me quizzically. I blushed to the tips of my ears.

We got into bed and I curled up next to him, my forehead resting against his shoulder. He put his hand on my waist, his fingers lightly brushing the small of my back and I swallowed hard to chase away the shivers. Slowly and tentatively my hand crept across his chest. I looked up at him and he was looking down at me. Our lips met softly.

His hand worked its way slowly up inside the top I had just put on and rested alongside my breast. “Your heart is beating so fast” he commented. I shrugged again, I seemed to do that a lot with him, he left me at a loss for words.

Slowly and gently we explored one another with our fingers. I was in heaven. Breathing him in, my hands pressing against his chest, his back and up the back of his neck to those secret curls, hidden under layers of straight blonde hair. The door to the room opened and light flooded in. Tim shielded his eyes.

Standing in the doorway was a boy who had been introduced to me as Frank. He was stumbling drunk and he was looking for Spaulding. Tim advised him that Spaulding was sleeping and Frank blinked into the darkness. He squinted in my direction. “Do you have a chick up here?” Tim clarified that Frank was not welcome at the moment and Frank swayed in the doorway a few minutes. “Hey, is that a mirror on the ceiling?” he blurted out finally. I hid my face in Tim’s chest. I was beginning to giggle, but it was clear that Tim was not amused. Frank stumbled over to the bed and fell onto it, reaching out and blindly groping me with his free hand.

Tim’s hackles went up. It surprised me, the forceful possessiveness he suddenly adopted. “Don’t touch her Frank. Go home” But Frank didn’t heed. As Tim got more riled up, I became more interested in this side of him that he’d never shown to me before. “It’s ok” I found myself saying “he’s drunk, just let him pass out and be done with it.” We found a spot closer to the wall and resumed our activities. When Frank’s hand made another appearance, this time on my ass, there was nowhere left to go. At Tim’s insistence, we switched spots, and Tim so firmly fended off Frank’s next attempt to get in on the action that Frank stumbled out of the room.

Our bodies relaxed into one another. I was thrilled to find that I fit so comfortably up against him. Our torsos seemed perfectly matched so that as he grew his penis pressed up against me pleasingly. I was absorbed in kissing those lips. They were so soft and so red. I had gone to sleep so many nights dreaming of them and I never wanted to stop kissing them now. He rolled me over onto my back and climbed on top of me. He looked down at me, his long bangs tickling my forehead. “Are you ok?” he asked. I nodded, not trusting my voice not to betray me. He pressed his legs against the outside of my thighs and leaned his head down to kiss me again when I was struck in the face by a beam of light. I covered my face as Tim leapt off me and turned, visibly annoyed, to face the door.

Sally stood there. “Pria?” she asked. I peered through my fingers at her sillouette. “uhhuh?” I asked. “Um, I’m gonna go to bed soon, I just wondered…” her voice trailed off. “It’s ok Sal, I think I’ll sleep in here tonight” Sally looked at me uncertainly. She was far smarter than her 13 years would suggest but it was clear that she was unfamiliar with the situation. “Is everything ok?” she asked. “It’s fine Sally, it’s great in fact. I’ll see you in the morning ok?” She stood there a moment longer until Tim threw a pillow at her. “Get out Sally!” he demanded and she turned and scurried away. Tim rose and closed the door and came back to the bed.

He lay on his side next to me and after a few minutes of kissing he slid his hand under the waistband of my underpants. I gasped audibly as his fingers entered me and urgently pressed my body up against his. With his free hand he led one of mine down towards the waistband of his own pants, leaving my fingers hooked just under it. I reached down and took him into my hand when the door swung open again. Both my hands flew to my face now as Tim sat bolt upright. I made a noise of frustration. Tim’s sister’s voice floated through the darkness at me.

“Tim, Sally told me to tell you that she doesn’t need this from you right now”. I let out an exasperated sigh and raised my head to scowl at Sharon. “Who doesn’t need what from me exactly?” “I don’t know,” she looked at me uncertainly “Pria doesn’t need you raping her right now or something”. My head flopped back onto the pillow. “Shar, tell Sally I’m fine.” Sharon stood there, uncertainly a few more moments. I could feel Tim’s body, tense against my legs. I longed to hold him again, I longed to kiss him again but mostly I longed for a lock on that goddamned door.

Sharon’s fears finally assuaged, she left, once again leaving the door conspicuously open. Tim got up and shut it, then leapt on top of me. Our kisses were more fervent this time, our hands trying to make up for lost time, trying to get everything in before the next distraction. He slipped first one leg, then the other between mine and effortlessly pushed them apart. I could feel his penis pressing hard against me through my underpants. The door swung open again. Tim lay down on top of me and I buried my face in his neck. “What the fuck is it NOW?” Tim demanded.

His father’s voice rang through the room. “Boys, who’s up here?”. Tim answered. “Well, Spaulding and Karla are sleeping over there. I think there’s a few people asleep on the rug over there and me and umm…Pria, I think.” The door swung open a little wider, letting in more light. “I want the girls out of there now” Tim protested. “Now, Tim!” answered his father as he turned and strode to the stairs. Spaulding’s voice rose from the bed a few feet away from us. “I’m not waking my friends up to tell them they have to leave” he muttered petulantly, not nearly loud enough for his uncle to hear. Tim kissed my nose. “I’ll be right back” he promised.

I lay for a long time waiting for him. He came back and began to get dressed. “What are you doing?” I asked. “I’m going to my mom’s” he muttered. He put on some jeans, did a double take and took them off again. He had put on my jeans. He grabbed his motorcycle helmet, threw on his leather jacket and walked out. I slept fitfully that night and avoided his father the next day, grabbing a ride from a friend of a friend as far as the bus station to go home.

He called me the next day to apologize. He was at his mother’s place, but it was packed to the rafters with bikers at present or he’d invite me by. We’d see each other soon though. We would always see each other soon.



et cetera